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July 12, 2023
Listening to- Traumazine by Megan Thee Stallion
Mood- Still waking up


I've got some anxieties about the new career I've started that I'm trying to untangle through educating myself and improving my communciation skills. I got some books from the library that are already helping a lot. I'm just untrained and was kinda thrown into things all of a sudden. It's been great, and I'm very happy, but it's also a lot of pressure and responsibility. So yknow. AAAAaaaahhh!!!

I read the backlog of this blog, and I was kinda struck by how much stuff I was doing all the time and how competent I seemed from the outside. I've never for a second felt like I could keep up with everything life throws at me. I'm never getting enough done, and I'm always overwhelmed. Executive dysfunction is the main reason, but also it just seems ridiculous how much individual people are expected to do. I've always assumed everyone else was at least better at keeping everything together, even if it's not actually easier or less stressful for them, but reading my backlog, I felt like I was reading the blog of a stranger. Maybe everyone just seems like they have it together from the outside, but they don't. That's probably the case.

My partner has noted that I'm more tired all the time than is normal, and that it's harder for me to Do Things than is normal, too. But I'm not positive that my partner isn't just exceptional and incredible😂

I'm gonna visit my friends and family in Jersey in August, so I'm really looking forward to that..... Um I don't really know what else I want to say right now.